"Somebody needs to invent a dust greyhound, to chase all of the dust bunnies out from under my couch." -Scott Smith

"An Eskimo once told me; The best way to kill a dolphin, is to club it over the head with the cutest baby seal you can find." -Scott Smith

"Sandwiches are an easy thing to make on days when your cooking arm is tired from punching neighbor kids all day." - Scott Smith

"You don't need friends when you have enemies." - Scott Smith