"You don't need a machine to go to the future." -Scott Smith

"At least it wasn't Horshack. It should have been Barbarino. And we should all be thankful that "Boom Boom" is immortal." -Scott Smith

"I have a dark past and a bright future, my present is kinda overcast." -Scott Smith

"Like you weren't just wasting your time anyway." -Scott Smith

"Bachelor time saving tip #17: To make it easier for your girlfriend to clean up, Rain-X your toilet and the surrounding area." -Scott Smith

"The frost is lost by noon." -Scott Smith

"Don't die before you check with me. I need to make sure I can pencil in the memorial." -Scott Smith

"It says, 'best by' not, 'worse after'. Just shut up and eat your Beefaroni." -Scott Smith

"That was now, this is then. Quit being so linear about shit." -Scott Smith