"I'd rather be oleaginous than unctuous." - Scott Smith

"If my forethought was half as good as my hindsight, my life would be a lot less fucked up." - Scott Smith

"I don't care if they're her peas, I still don't want 'em anywhere near my crotch!" - Scott Smith

"The only way to accomplish things is by doing them." - Scott Smith

"A mans bigotry need know no bounds when god is on his side." - Scott Smith

"Fuck you Freckulon! I hope your face gets melanoma!" - Scott Smith

"Where's the butter Neighbs?" - Scott Smith

"When you know, then you'll understand." - Scott Smith

"You may think that you're my Boss but you're not. You're just my employer. Jackass." - Scott Smith

"Comment or GTFO!" - Scott SMith

"Metaphysics, pfft. Try having Metafidgets. I can't stop pacing back and forth in the Astral Plane." - Scott Smith

"I said, 'anti-clockwise' not, 'counter-clockwise'. Your dumb ass just wasted a whole night's work." - Scott Smith

"Stupid people tend to confuse cynicism for wit." - Scott Smith

"Yes, it is possible to be too busy for this." - Scott Smith

"There are 3 types of women; Bitches, Whores and Cunts. The difference is how bad they pissed me off." - Scott Smith

"Tired of being wrong all of the time? You should start your own religion. That way, everything you say becomes Gospel truth. It's worked wonders for me." - Scott Smith

"Is there anything sadder than an overweight midget? Did I say sadder? I meant 'hilariouser', sorry for the confusion." - Scott Smith

"Today's updates are tomorrow's outdates." - Scott Smith

"Easter?!?!? I thought it was Passover. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to stick some ham between a couple of slices of Matzo bread and kill 2 birds with one stone. " - Scott Smith

"I'm pretty sure that killing 2 birds with one stone is the Kosher way of doing it." - Scott Smith