"Beer for breakfast? OK!" - Scott Smith

"Fart, fart, fart." - Scott Smith

"English muffins are the new bagels." - Scott Smith

"Always get yours first and, fuck everybody else. That's the way Jesus would have wanted it." - Scott Smith

"An Ocean of lotion. That should keep me moisturized." - Scott Smith

"It's all fun and games until they're sewing your big toes where your thumbs used to be." - Scott Smith

"That's for everybody but you." - Scott Smith

"There's a 4th degree burn now?" - Scott Smith

"Nematodes aren't actually toads at all. They are called such because they hop all over your Nemas." - Scott Smith

"A heart of stone and a sack of steel, that's what you need to survive." - Scott Smith

"You got wang chop'd!!!" - Scott Smith

"That's so chocolate milk. The twins are gonna have a Mars Bar when they hear that." - Scott Smith

"I'm pretty sure Shaq is just 3 midgets under an overcoat. Look at the signs, you'll see." - Scott Smith

"What does a hill of beans amount to anyways?" - Scott Smith

"I told you I would do it. Now, you want me to actually do it. Fuckin' Nazi." - Scott Smith

"What the world could really use is more loose women." - Scott Smith

"I'd be more than happy to explain it to you but, I don't think you would understand." - Scott Smith

"No hot wings in the pool. How many times do I have to tell you?" - Scott Smith

"What do you mean you're out of musk melons. Fag!" - Scott Smith

"It's like a nap but, you're awake." - Scott Smith

"Just put some toothpaste in your Mtn. Dew and call it good." - Scott Smith

"If a cute girl tries to get you to eat some mushrooms, don't do it." - Scott Smith