"Hangovers are natures way of telling you to go back to bed." -Scott Smith

"Bachelor time saving tip #17: To make it easier for your girlfriend to clean up, Rain-X your toilet and the surrounding area." -Scott Smith

"Never underestimate the entertainment value of alcohol.., never!" -Scott Smith

"I've got champagne dreams and a six pack of High Life." -Scott Smith

"It makes me feel better. Not a 'Oh, I'm healthy' kind of better per se, more of a 'I'm only gonna punch that old Asian lady in the face once' kind of better." - Scott Smith

"Beer for breakfast? OK!" - Scott Smith