"Too much 'Bim', not enough 'Bo'. If ya know what I mean..." -Scott Smith

"Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there! And all you non-mothers; Call me and we can practice making you one." -Sccott Smith

"That gives me a tingle in my dingle." -Scott Smith

"You should only slap a woman when they're hysterical." -Scott Smith

"What happens in Atlanta, stays in your pantsa." -Scott Smith

"Skanks, flakes and fakes; This is my life." -Scott Smith

"If you see a red carpet, it means that you're too close to a ginger. Pull your pants up and run, while you still have a soul." -Scott Smith

"If you have to point it out, how important can it be?" -Scott Smith

"Well, if she could keep my dick out of her mouth it would be a lot easier." -Scott Smith

"If I needed your validation, I would park somewhere else." -Scott Smith

"Don't punch her in the cunt, that might be her kink." -Scott Smith

"Mono is just nature's way of telling you to, 'take it easy.'" -Scott Smith

"When you're at your next woman's club meeting, tell the ladies that if they want guys to be pickier about the women we sleep with, hot women need to start losing their panties easier." -Scott Smith

"Women are like buses; If you don't pay attention, they'll run right over you." -Scott Smith

"I don't have a high opinion about myself, I just have a very low opinion about everybody else." -Scott Smith

"I like my women how I like my chairs.., easy." -Scott Smith

"Making out in black&white is so much cooler than in color." -Scott Smith

"Falling in love is great until you hit the ground." -Scott Smith

"Remember when you could call dames 'broads' and there was nothin' the bitches could do about it? Those were the days." -Scott Smith

"Turns out that werewolf I saw last night was just your mom with her shirt off." -Scott Smith