Monday, May 30, 2011

"Happy Mammorial day! It's high time boobs got the respect they deserve.., Wha? 'Memorial' you say? Hmmm.., Well, boobs should still get a day of their own. They are awesome." -Scott Smith

Saturday, May 28, 2011

"When you start to look at breasts as fun-bags instead of feed-bags; you're on your way to becoming a man." -Scott Smith
"Nobody listens to me yet, I am always right." -Scott Smith

Thursday, May 26, 2011

"Gourds are pointless unless you're a caveman." -Scott Smith

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

"Make amends, don't apologize." -Scott Smith

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

"Thin Mints are just overpriced, repackaged Grasshoppers. Those Girl Scouts are fucking rip-off artists. Keebler should sue. " -Scott Smith

Saturday, May 21, 2011

"Bachelor time saving tip #17: To make it easier for your girlfriend to clean up, Rain-X your toilet and the surrounding area." -Scott Smith

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

"Never underestimate the entertainment value of alcohol.., never!" -Scott Smith
"If you build in a wash; your house is going to wash away." -Scott Smith
"Some days you just have to tell the bitch to 'fuck-off'." -Scott Smith

Sunday, May 15, 2011

"There are few actual gentlemen inside of a gentleman's club." -Scott Smith
"Granola needs to come with a warning on the package or, at least be sold in burlap sacks labeled 'Hippie Chow'. I mean; what am I, a chipmunk?" -Scott Smith
"If a religious nut gets elected president; I hope their religion is Voodoo. I mean, who's going to fuck with a country powered by Voodoo." -Scott Smith

Friday, May 13, 2011

"If you dye your hair red; does that make you transgingered?" -Scott Smith
"Strawberry." -Scott Smith
"I'll have an amyl acetate, amyl butyrate, amyl valerate, anethol, anisyl formate, benzyl acetate, benzyl isobutyrate, butyric acid, cinnamyl isobutyrate, cinnamyl valerate, cognac essential oil, diacetyl, dipropyl ketone, ethyl acetate, ethyl amyl ketone, ethyl butyrate, ethyl cinnamate, ethyl heptanoate, ethyl heptylate, ethyl lactate, ethyl methylphenylglycidate, ethyl nitrate, ethyl propionate, ethyl valerate, heliotropin, hydroxyphenyl-2-butanone, a-ionone, isobutyl anthranilate, isobutyl butyrate, lemon essential oil, maltol, 4-methylacetophenone, methyl anthranilate, methyl benzoate, methyl cinnamate, methyl heptine carbonate, methyl naphthyl ketone, methyl salicylate, mint essential oil, neroli essential oil, nerolin, neryl isobutyrate, orris butter, phenethyl alcohol, rose, rum ether, g-undecalactone, vanillin, and solvent shake, hold the whipped cream." -Scott Smith

Sunday, May 08, 2011

"Ultra-violence has always worked for me in these situations." -Scott Smith

Saturday, May 07, 2011

"If anyone can fail at failure, it's me." -Scott Smith
"Maybe Rosey Grier didn't kill RFK. Ray Milland could have had control of the body that day." -Scott Smith
"If it's neither here nor there; where the fuck is it then?" -Scott Smith

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

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"It's not the pants that you wear, it's the ass that you put them over." -Scott Smith
"Wednesday is named after Odin. That's why it's the tallest day." -Scott Smith

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

"I dunno. I have kind of this reclusive pseudo-artist™ thing goin' on. If I make too many public appearances, I won't be reclusive anymore and, people will stop taking my pseudo-art™ pseudo-seriously." -Scott Smith

Sunday, May 01, 2011

"If your only proof is faith, you really don't have any proof at all." -Scott Smith

Pass it on...