Monday, July 23, 2012

"Gentlemen's clubs are dollar stores for titties." -Scott Smith

Saturday, July 07, 2012

"Take away the fire and; camping is just pretending to be homeless." -Scott Smith

Sunday, June 17, 2012

"I have an idea for a business leasing puppies to single guys to help them get chicks. I'm going to have to do something with the pupppies once they grow up in to dogs though. So, if anybody knows where there's a building for lease next to a Vietnamese restaurant, hit me up." -Scott Smith

Friday, June 15, 2012

The Island of Lote

Maine is known for two things; Lobster and great authors. Emily Kinney is part of that great tradition. No, she's not a lobster fisherman! She's the author of The Island of Lote. A hilarious tale of teen romance set on a tropical island. Check it out on Goodreads and see why Emily Kinney is well on her way to becoming one of America's master storytellers. The Island of Lote 'Like' it on Facebook and get ready for a good time!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

"Too much 'Bim', not enough 'Bo'. If ya know what I mean..." -Scott Smith

Saturday, June 09, 2012

"Coffee is like coffee for the soul." -Scott Smith

Friday, June 01, 2012

"Did it sound like he had pee in his ear?" -Scott Smith

Thursday, May 31, 2012

"Keep your gravy off of my breakfast!" -Scott Smith

Friday, May 25, 2012


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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

"You don't have to move an inch to go too far." -Scott Smith

Monday, May 14, 2012

"Where are all the robots?" -Scott Smith

Sunday, May 13, 2012

"Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there! And all you non-mothers; Call me and we can practice making you one." -Sccott Smith

Sunday, May 06, 2012

"That gives me a tingle in my dingle." -Scott Smith

Thursday, May 03, 2012

"He dances like an Englishman." -Scott Smith

Saturday, April 28, 2012

"You should only slap a woman when they're hysterical." -Scott Smith

Friday, April 27, 2012

"Why won't my pickle seeds grow?" -Scott Smith

Saturday, April 21, 2012

"Short people need to grow the fuck up." -Scott Smith

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

"The thing about mental illness is that, it's all in your head." -Scott Smith

"I'm raising awareness of the need for people to stop raising awareness." -Scott Smith

Sunday, April 15, 2012

"Exotic dancers? Sounds exotic." -Scott Smith

Friday, April 13, 2012

"So, does the nominee get to ride an elephant?" -Scott Smith

Monday, April 02, 2012

"What happens in Atlanta, stays in your pantsa." -Scott Smith

"Skanks, flakes and fakes; This is my life." -Scott Smith

Friday, March 30, 2012

'Push 'em up and smash 'em together! Not for me, for America!" -Scott Smith

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Rainbow dust, Candy sand art!

Like Art? Like candy? Well then, Rainbow Dust is for you! Create your own delicious masterpieces, energize your imagination and satisfy your sweet tooth, all at the same time! Rainbow Dust looks like sand but it's really a candy you use to create edible works of art. Rainbow Dust comes in a whole spectrum of colors and a variety of flavors. Great for fundraisers, birthday parties, family reunions and school carnivals. Rainbow Art is great for kids and adults and is a hit wherever there are people craving candy and having fun. I have Great News too! Right now, Rainbow Dust is offering and exclusive discount to The "Quotable" Scott Smith readers; Use the coupon code "VERYHAPPY" at the checkout and get $5 off of your order with Rainbow Dust!!! Go to and get some today!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

"What do you wants I should do with all my eggs? I only have the one basket." -Scott Smith

"You can be driven to drink but, you can't drink while you drive? What a fucking rip-off!" -Scott Smith

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

"When life gives you shit; paint it yellow and tell people you got lemons." -Scott Smith

Monday, March 19, 2012

"You don't need a machine to go to the future." -Scott Smith
"Your stupid face matches your dumb ass." -Scott Smith

Friday, March 16, 2012

"Jesus had a foot fetish." -Scott Smith

Monday, March 12, 2012

"You might as well take your own monkey to the zoo." -Scott Smith

Thursday, March 08, 2012

"Rubber nipples will never replace the real thing." -Scott Smith

Sunday, March 04, 2012

"If babies weren't such pussies, maybe people would quit taking their candy all the time." -Scott Smith

Thursday, March 01, 2012

"I'm a little rough around the edges, that's why they invented KY." -Scott Smith

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

"Santorum is great for getting a Newt out of your Mitt." -Scott Smith

Sunday, February 26, 2012

"If you see a red carpet, it means that you're too close to a ginger. Pull your pants up and run, while you still have a soul." -Scott Smith

"Why is there no Oscar for Best Rack?" -Scott Smith

Friday, February 24, 2012

"Looking before you leap ruins all of the spontaneity in life. It's best to just charge headlong in to every endeavor and not worry about the consequences. The less forethought exercised, the better." -Scott Smith
"Beware my Veto Torpedo!" -Scott Smith

Thursday, February 23, 2012

"It's like a radio program that you read." -Scott Smith

Friday, February 17, 2012

"Ketchup should only be used on slow foods." -Scott Smith

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

"If you have to point it out, how important can it be?" -Scott Smith

Sunday, February 12, 2012

"Fuck you Franco! Get an original idea!" -Scott Smith

Thursday, February 09, 2012

"That's like cherries and almonds good!" -Scott Smith

"Home schooled kids always have perfect attendance." -Scott Smith

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

"If it weren't for porn, nobody would know how to spell 'amateur'." -Scott Smith

Sunday, January 29, 2012

"You can't motorboat a woman's heart." -Scott Smith

Saturday, January 28, 2012

"At least it wasn't Horshack. It should have been Barbarino. And we should all be thankful that "Boom Boom" is immortal." -Scott Smith

Monday, January 23, 2012

"I thought these films were supposed to be about a sundance." -Scott Smith

Saturday, January 21, 2012

"Well, if she could keep my dick out of her mouth it would be a lot easier." -Scott Smith

Friday, January 20, 2012


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"If you believe the Bible, you'll believe anything." -Scott Smith

Thursday, January 19, 2012

"Church would be more popular if they weren't so stingy with the wine and crackers." -Scott Smith

Saturday, January 14, 2012

"Spaghetti is just Italian nachos." -Scott Smith

"You can't back up if you don't have reverse." -Scott Smith

Friday, January 13, 2012

"Nachos are just Mexican spaghetti." -Scott Smith

Thursday, January 12, 2012

"If you make a monkey cook your dinner, you're gonna have a grease fire." -Scott Smith

Saturday, January 07, 2012

"Let's see you go through a Shark Week without your baby seal skin hat." -Scott Smith

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

"I go through enough brooms trying to keep Sharia law from creeping in to my kitchen and you want to elect a Kardashian president." -Scott Smith

Sunday, January 01, 2012

New Year's resolution

"Naw, don't worry about it. A million ain't as many as you think." -Scott Smith

Pass it on...