Friday, March 26, 2010

"No dude, you're wrong as fuck. A happenstance is how you stand when you're ready for something to happen. Get a dictionary Corky." - Scott Smith
"I don't know what it does but, I 'guarana' some more of it." - Scott Smith
"I said 'hopeless', not 'homeless'. Calm down, I can see your refrigerator box." - Scott Smith

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

"I'm gonna put the De-thatching blade on my lawn mower backwards. That way, I can use it to thatch my roof." - Scott Smith
"Authenticate that shit already. Those numbers are fuckin' up the vibe of the whole place." - Scott Smith

Monday, March 22, 2010

"If she hasn't figured out why her baby looks so much like me, I ain't sayin' nothin'." - Scott Smith
"It's art! What the fuck is there to understand about it?" - Scott Smith
"The weather girl is hot so,you don't care when she's wrong all of the time." - Scott Smith

Sunday, March 21, 2010

"Llamas spit, just like camels and rednecks." - Scott Smith

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The First Ever Super Special Guest Star "Quotable" Ever!!!

"Never do with one pitchfork what you could just as easily do with a thousand regular forks" - Luke Coates

Friday, March 19, 2010

"For having all of those buttons, an accordion doesn't really do that much." - Scott Smith

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

"You try to hump the Sun, you're gonna burn your dick. I'm just sayin'." - Scott Smith

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

"I'm givin' you Mark Twain quality at Yogi Berra prices. What the fuck are you complaining about?" - Scott Smith
"Don't forget to grease that gearbox." - Scott Smith
"You knock 'em up, I set 'em down. Just like old times." - Scott Smith
"White chocolate strawberry cheesecake! Bullshit!! I thought it was a fetus custard." - Scott Smith

Sunday, March 14, 2010

"Extra stuff.., AWESOME!!!" - Scott Smith
"Will it solve anything if I poke his eyes out instead? - Scott Smith
"Blood? Is that what they call it? Anyhow.., you're gonna need a lot more of it..." - Scott Smith

Friday, March 12, 2010

"Some days I'm just slower than I am on other days. On those days, you get stuck with shit like this." - Scott Smith
"Look at that rack, Jack. I bet you could hang like, a dozen coats on it." - Scott Smith
"I need to know but, I gotta go. Can you run down the street and shout it at me?" - Scott Smith
"Haim's death was pretty lame." - Scott Smith

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Special Memorial "Quotable"

"I was numb and I had lots of swollen lymph nodes, my heart was hurting and I had blood clots in my arm and leg." - Corey Haim

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

"Sometimes, breaking your neck isn't the best way to get a free Rascal." - Scott Smith
"The concept is that, there is no concept. Why don't you understand art?" - Scott Smith
"Sledding down stairs is exactly as much fun as it sounds." - Scott Smith
"If you figure out what it's about, let me know." - Scott Smith

Monday, March 08, 2010

"Ensenada de los Muertos, sounds nice." - Scott Smith
"Sometimes but.., not right now. Actually, never-mind. You get nothing." - Scott Smith

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

"Have you ever noticed how, in the grocery store, the way they line up the Navel Oranges, all of the navels are pointed so you can't see them? Like an orange's navel is still a navel and that somehow makes it obscene... I haven't either. That would be pretty weird though." - Scott Smith
"Jim-Jam on the Jig-a-bang!!! Remember that? I knew you would." - Scott Smith
"A lemur and a raccoon walk in to an elderly assisted care facility. The raccoon looks at the lemur and says, 'Holy shit! I must be high because, it totally sounds like I'm talking. I mean, I'm a raccoon, raccoons can't talk. And what the fuck am I doing hanging out with a lemur? I must have ate some bad trash.' Something.., Something.., Something.., I think they wind up getting a Grand Slam at Denny's or something. You had to be there." - Scott Smith
"It's a Piranha Piñata! The kid'll love it!" - Scott Smith
"That's never gonna work. Your pocket knife is metric." - Scott Smith

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