"Work is hard. Working hard sucks ass." - Scott Smith

"What type of wine goes with fish? Nevermind, I'll just ask your mom to douche." - Scott Smith

"Have you ever wrecked your hoverboard in to a hovercar and thought, 'I sure am glad the US has a single payer health care system.' You haven't? Remember to thank a Republicans for that." - Scott Smith

"Hipsters are this years dead hookers." - Scott Smith

"Not affiliated with Scott Smith from Chicago, IL." - Scott Smith

"Remember when you could just club a woman and drag her home? Me neither. We should bring that back. Imagine the savings on dinners and flowers. Imagine the savings..." - Scott Smith

"It runs on state of the art 19th century technology; Internal Combustion!" - Scott Smith

"Windows are just small doors that let the scenery in and out." - Scott Smith

"My heart overruling my boner. Well, that's a first." - Scott Smith

"Just because you were there, doesn't mean you know what happened." - Scott Smith