"Well, if you deep fried the baby, of course I would eat it." -Scott Smith

"They should just start calling Math, 'Meth' instead. That way, the kids will start staying up all night doing it and we'll finally be able to compete with the Asians." -Scott Smith

"If there really is a time and a place for everything, I bet it's really crowded there." -Scott Smith

Baby carriers

Being a parent is great but, sometimes it take both hands. Carrying the groceries home can be awkward while pushing a stroller or carrying a baby. Deuter Kid Comfort Carriers are the solution for you. Strap your child to your back in one of Deuter's comfortable carriers. Free up your hands while walking with baby, relieve back pain by not crouching over a carriage for hours, make the other parents jealous with your new Deuter Kid Comfort Carrier.

It's always halloween...

Halloween is just around the corner but why wait until then to dress up. Everyday can be Halloween if you have enough costumes. Silly Jokes has everything you need to be whoever you want. They have costumes for all occasions too, Easter, Christmas, New Years, Valentines and more... Don't wait until it's too late. If you need wigs, hats, make-up or even full costumes, Silly Jokes has got you covered.

"The deeper you dig, the bigger the hole gets." -Scott Smith

"Somebody needs to invent a dust greyhound, to chase all of the dust bunnies out from under my couch." -Scott Smith

"I wouldn't do it, even if you gave me all crazy people in Florida!" -Scott Smith

"Don't think of it as being fired. Think of it as being hired on for a new job at Unemployment Inc. The pay is shitty and there's no benefits but, there sure is a lot of downtime and boredom. Oh, and you get to pick your own hours. It don't get much better than that, except when it gets better than that." -Scott Smith

"Who's a person have to fuck to get a danish in this place? I hope she's Danish, them bitches is hot!" -Scott Smith

"Well, I'm pretty popular in Poland!" -Scott Smith

"You can say any crazy thing you want and, if you say it loud and often enough, people will believe you. That's why we have religion; because people are idiots." -Scott Smith

"The opposite of a brain freeze is hemorrhoids." -Scott Smith

"Like you weren't just wasting your time anyway." -Scott Smith

"A chicken in every pot and a monkey-butler in every closet.., Wave of the future." -Scott Smith

"Nothing says 'success' like dying in the same neighborhood you were conceived in." -Scott Smith

"Polynesian, a race? Not likely. I mean, they live on little islands, there's nowhere to run to." -Scott Smith

"Fun on a bun doesn't taste as good as turkey or ham." -Scott Smith