"Turns out that werewolf I saw last night was just your mom with her shirt off." -Scott Smith

"Vampires? More like Whaaa-mpires!" -Scott Smith

"Well, what if I eat the zombies' brains first? Then they won't have a chance to eat mine. Didn't think of that now, did you?" -Scott Smith

"No, no, no, no.., We need you to tear some sheets in to strips AND boil some water. Don't put the sheet strips in the boiling water, that's just ridiculous. Ain't you never birthed no baby?" -Scott Smith

"The tacos are great.., if you like horse meat." -Scott Smith

"Just because you can; doesn't mean you should stick your dick in it. You should stick it in there because you like it." -Scott Smith

"My P, your V. Lose the pants."- Scott Smith

"Rome wasn't built in a day but, I'm pretty sure most of the building went on during the day. So, fuck you." -Scott Smith

"Pooping behind the dumpster is fun until you get shit on your shoe." -Scott Smith

"He's been a 'get out of here' since we got here." -Scott Smith

"I like to keep it somewhere between poignant and pointless." -Scott Smith

"Blow jobs are like roses for men." -Scott Smith