"Gentlemen's clubs are dollar stores for titties." -Scott Smith

"Take away the fire and; camping is just pretending to be homeless." -Scott Smith

"I have an idea for a business leasing puppies to single guys to help them get chicks. I'm going to have to do something with the pupppies once they grow up in to dogs though. So, if anybody knows where there's a building for lease next to a Vietnamese restaurant, hit me up." -Scott Smith

The Island of Lote

Maine is known for two things; Lobster and great authors. Emily Kinney is part of that great tradition. No, she's not a lobster fisherman! She's the author of The Island of Lote. A hilarious tale of teen romance set on a tropical island. Check it out on Goodreads and see why Emily Kinney is well on her way to becoming one of America's master storytellers. The Island of Lote 'Like' it on Facebook and get ready for a good time! http://www.facebook.com/theislandoflote

"Too much 'Bim', not enough 'Bo'. If ya know what I mean..." -Scott Smith

"Coffee is like coffee for the soul." -Scott Smith

"Did it sound like he had pee in his ear?" -Scott Smith

"Keep your gravy off of my breakfast!" -Scott Smith

Irresistible-Scents

Wouldn't you love to come home to the smell of a fresh baked cake everyday? How about going to bed surrounded by the aroma of Sandalwood? Then, Irresistible-Scents is the place for you! From Sex on the Beach to Dreamsicle, they've got the handmade scent that's right for you. Light up your front room with the smell of Jazzy Gardenia or Set the mood in the bedroom with Black Linen and Amber. Irresistible-Scents has the handmade candles, and more, to make your home, office, car, wherever smell absolutely fabulous! The good folks at Irresistible-Scents are coming up with new fragrances and products all the time too. So you can try something different anytime you want. So, head on over to Irresistible-Scents today and smell what you've been missing!

"You don't have to move an inch to go too far." -Scott Smith

"Where are all the robots?" -Scott Smith

"Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there! And all you non-mothers; Call me and we can practice making you one." -Sccott Smith

"That gives me a tingle in my dingle." -Scott Smith

"He dances like an Englishman." -Scott Smith

"You should only slap a woman when they're hysterical." -Scott Smith

"Why won't my pickle seeds grow?" -Scott Smith

"Short people need to grow the fuck up." -Scott Smith

"The thing about mental illness is that, it's all in your head." -Scott Smith

"I'm raising awareness of the need for people to stop raising awareness." -Scott Smith

"Exotic dancers? Sounds exotic." -Scott Smith

"So, does the nominee get to ride an elephant?" -Scott Smith

"What happens in Atlanta, stays in your pantsa." -Scott Smith

"Skanks, flakes and fakes; This is my life." -Scott Smith

'Push 'em up and smash 'em together! Not for me, for America!" -Scott Smith

Rainbow dust, Candy sand art!

Like Art? Like candy? Well then, Rainbow Dust is for you! Create your own delicious masterpieces, energize your imagination and satisfy your sweet tooth, all at the same time! Rainbow Dust looks like sand but it's really a candy you use to create edible works of art. Rainbow Dust comes in a whole spectrum of colors and a variety of flavors. Great for fundraisers, birthday parties, family reunions and school carnivals. Rainbow Art is great for kids and adults and is a hit wherever there are people craving candy and having fun. I have Great News too! Right now, Rainbow Dust is offering and exclusive discount to The "Quotable" Scott Smith readers; Use the coupon code "VERYHAPPY" at the checkout and get $5 off of your order with Rainbow Dust!!! Go to http://www.myrainbowdust.com/ and get some today!

"What do you wants I should do with all my eggs? I only have the one basket." -Scott Smith

"You can be driven to drink but, you can't drink while you drive? What a fucking rip-off!" -Scott Smith

"When life gives you shit; paint it yellow and tell people you got lemons." -Scott Smith

"You don't need a machine to go to the future." -Scott Smith

"Your stupid face matches your dumb ass." -Scott Smith

"Jesus had a foot fetish." -Scott Smith

"You might as well take your own monkey to the zoo." -Scott Smith

"Rubber nipples will never replace the real thing." -Scott Smith

"If babies weren't such pussies, maybe people would quit taking their candy all the time." -Scott Smith

"I'm a little rough around the edges, that's why they invented KY." -Scott Smith

"Santorum is great for getting a Newt out of your Mitt." -Scott Smith

"If you see a red carpet, it means that you're too close to a ginger. Pull your pants up and run, while you still have a soul." -Scott Smith

"Why is there no Oscar for Best Rack?" -Scott Smith

"Looking before you leap ruins all of the spontaneity in life. It's best to just charge headlong in to every endeavor and not worry about the consequences. The less forethought exercised, the better." -Scott Smith

"Beware my Veto Torpedo!" -Scott Smith

"It's like a radio program that you read." -Scott Smith

"Ketchup should only be used on slow foods." -Scott Smith

"If you have to point it out, how important can it be?" -Scott Smith

"Fuck you Franco! Get an original idea!" -Scott Smith

"That's like cherries and almonds good!" -Scott Smith

"Home schooled kids always have perfect attendance." -Scott Smith

"If it weren't for porn, nobody would know how to spell 'amateur'." -Scott Smith

"You can't motorboat a woman's heart." -Scott Smith

"At least it wasn't Horshack. It should have been Barbarino. And we should all be thankful that "Boom Boom" is immortal." -Scott Smith

"I thought these films were supposed to be about a sundance." -Scott Smith

"Well, if she could keep my dick out of her mouth it would be a lot easier." -Scott Smith

Http://Gadgets.ie

I found an awesome new place to get the info on the gadgets that I love, Gadgets.ie ! From the outdoors to your office, they've got it all. Gadgets.ie has old gadgets and new gadgets, green gadgets.., even a chance to WIN gadgets! Be the first to know about the latest tech and the newest gear; head on over to Gadgets.ie today!

"If you believe the Bible, you'll believe anything." -Scott Smith

"Church would be more popular if they weren't so stingy with the wine and crackers." -Scott Smith

"Spaghetti is just Italian nachos." -Scott Smith

"You can't back up if you don't have reverse." -Scott Smith

"Nachos are just Mexican spaghetti." -Scott Smith

"If you make a monkey cook your dinner, you're gonna have a grease fire." -Scott Smith

"Let's see you go through a Shark Week without your baby seal skin hat." -Scott Smith

"I go through enough brooms trying to keep Sharia law from creeping in to my kitchen and you want to elect a Kardashian president." -Scott Smith

New Year's resolution

"Naw, don't worry about it. A million ain't as many as you think." -Scott Smith