"You should only slap a woman when they're hysterical." -Scott Smith

"Why won't my pickle seeds grow?" -Scott Smith

"Short people need to grow the fuck up." -Scott Smith

"The thing about mental illness is that, it's all in your head." -Scott Smith

"I'm raising awareness of the need for people to stop raising awareness." -Scott Smith

"Exotic dancers? Sounds exotic." -Scott Smith

"So, does the nominee get to ride an elephant?" -Scott Smith

"What happens in Atlanta, stays in your pantsa." -Scott Smith

"Skanks, flakes and fakes; This is my life." -Scott Smith