"Might as well try putting that fire out with butter." -Scott Smith

"I'm not eating any of that crap, it looks like shit." -Scott Smith

"The Sneeches had it easy. Their belly stars or, lack thereof, made it easy for them to know who to hate." - Scott Smith

"I brush my teeth before bed so that, if I see the girl of my dreams, I'll have fresh breath." - Scott Smith

"You don't need a map to go nowhere." - Scott Smith

"If you came here looking for answers, here you go; 'Yes' and 'Fuck you'." -Scott Smith

"You should be careful when you fall head-over-heals because, you might land tits-up." - Scott Smith

"Knowing that you don't know something can make you go cross-eyed." - Scott Smith

"Burning bridges is a lot of effort. It's easier to just let them collapse from disrepair." - Scott Smith

"It's amazing how easy it can be when you don't give a shit." - Scott Smith

"Seriously Canada, what do you want from me?" - Scott Smith

"Sometimes you have to eat with the spoon already in your hand." - Scott Smith

"Complicated things are hard to do." - Scott Smith

"What I want, I don't have. What I have, I don't want. This is why I drink." - Scott Smith

"Don't ask me a question if you're going to get mad at my answer." - Scott Smith

"Hey Canada, your poutine sucks!" - Scott Smith

"Complainin's good for maintainin'." - Scott Smith

"Do Bigfoots call people 'Smallfoots'?" - Scott Smith

"Those with carpet have fewer rugs." - Scott Smith

"Unemployed people never get a vacation." - Scott Smith