"I fell in love once. Well, I hope it was love. Whatever it was, it was awful sticky." -Scott Smith

"I'll only do it until I can't do it anymore." -Scott Smith

"Yes, Mexican is a flavor." -Scott Smith

"An Eskimo once told me; The best way to kill a dolphin, is to club it over the head with the cutest baby seal you can find." -Scott Smith

"Whatever Mr. Perfect. Like you never woke up with your dick super-glued to your leg." -Scott Smith

"You can't overdose on sobriety.., or pot." -Scott Smith

"Why do I even bother getting out of bed anymore? Oh yeah, I had to pee." -Scott Smith

"Friends are people who know your greatest fears, weaknesses, hopes and dreams. Also,they're willing to use that information against you." -Scott Smith

"You know what they say, 'When in Rome, try the pasta.'" -Scott Smith

"Teen idols need to be euthanized when they turn 20. Not just for me, for the world." -Scott Smith

"You're only as strong as the drinks that you mix." -Scott Smith

"Cats don't wear pajamas." -Scott Smith

"Doing whatever you want all of the time gets monotonous." -Scott Smith

"Today is Tuesday. That means, that next Tuesday is also on a Tuesday." -Scott Smith

"Original ideas are becoming a rarity." -Scott Smith

"If harsh language offends you, you can just fuck the fuck off." -Scott Smith

"My parents raised me with a conscience instead of a religion." -Scott Smith

"Being profound is harder than it looks." -Scott Smith

"I'm not gonna lie; South Carolina makes North Carolina look like an idiot.., Did I say 'an idiot'? I meant to say, 'way less inbred'. Sorry for the confusion." -Scott Smith

"The future is boring." -Scott Smith