"Bootsy Twitters?" - Scott Smith

"100. That's like a half of a carton of cigarettes worth of quotes. What's a carton of smokes go for now a days? $50.00? We'll call it $50.00. So, you own me $25.00. Please pay up soon, I have bills to pay." - Scott Smith

"That's not how you carry a canoe dumbass. You've got it confused with a kayak." - Scott Smith

"We're gonna need a bigger beer." - Scott Smith

"Maybe you should update your face more often." - Scott Smith

"Coming soon to a strip mall near you; Baco'n Whores! All of your cured meats and loose women in one convenient stop! Free Kielbasa with every hand job! Kids eat free! Fun for the whole family! " - Scott Smith

"You should try to put your "P" in as many "V"s as possible while it can still stand up on its own." - Scott Smith

"It's never too early for a cocktail." - Scott Smith

"No can do. My flow is so heavy, I'm using a Sham-Wow for a maxi-pad." - Scott Smith

"Herding cats is great exercise until you get them all in a corner." - Scott Smith

"Once, on a cold and stormy day much like today, the rain raped my father. I've hated it ever since." - Scott Smith

"I love fat bitch burgers." - Scott Smith

"I'll give you a stimulus package.., FROM MY PANTS!!! I'm talking about my penis, of course." - Scott Smith

"Bears using toilet paper but, no toilet. Is it any wonder the kids are so screwed up now-a-days?" - Scott Smith

"I've got bigger fish to fry and he's got fatter chicks to fuck. Let's hurry this shit up." - Scott Smith

"It makes more sense when you drunk." - Scott Smith

"Have you ever tried putting blueberries in waffles? It can't be done. It would take a special waffle iron, one with lots of divots. So many divots, they'd have to import 'em. Next thing you know, tariffs everywhere... Just eat your fucking pancake." - Scott Smith

"If you're happy and you know it, burn in hell." - Scott Smith

"OK, I could care less but, it's just too much effort." - Scott Smith

"It's a gun that gives people acid reflux. How can that not be a good idea?' - Scott Smith