"Winter is the planet's waiting room." - Scott Smith

"Fuck Nebraska, right in the corn-hole." - Scott Smith

"They should call jet skis 'boatercycles'." - Scott Smith

"I'm psychic, that's how." - Scott Smith

"And now a brief respite from my amaranthine dissension with quintessence." - Scott Smith

"Arguing with a religious person is a lot like, trying to explain to a colorblind person why they are dressed like a clown." - Scott Smith

"Sometimes you have to make the same mistake twice, two or three times. Just to be sure." - Scott Smith

"No matter where you are going, it's not going to be that cool when you get there." - Scott Smith

"Praying when you are about to die does as much good as; flapping your arms when you fall off of a cliff." - Scott Smith

"Work is hard. Working hard sucks ass." - Scott Smith

"What type of wine goes with fish? Nevermind, I'll just ask your mom to douche." - Scott Smith

"Have you ever wrecked your hoverboard in to a hovercar and thought, 'I sure am glad the US has a single payer health care system.' You haven't? Remember to thank a Republicans for that." - Scott Smith

"Hipsters are this years dead hookers." - Scott Smith

"Not affiliated with Scott Smith from Chicago, IL." - Scott Smith

"Remember when you could just club a woman and drag her home? Me neither. We should bring that back. Imagine the savings on dinners and flowers. Imagine the savings..." - Scott Smith

"It runs on state of the art 19th century technology; Internal Combustion!" - Scott Smith

"Windows are just small doors that let the scenery in and out." - Scott Smith

"My heart overruling my boner. Well, that's a first." - Scott Smith

"Just because you were there, doesn't mean you know what happened." - Scott Smith

"Any resemblance of "quotables" to people, either living or dead, is purely coincidental." - Scott Smith