"If worthless cunts were candy and nuts; my life would be a lot less complicated." -Scott Smith

"One time, I went to kick this guy in the shin, he moved and I accidentally kicked a midget in the face. I laughed and I laughed, the midget just rolled his eyes and bled 'til he fell over. Sometimes, I lay back and wonder if anyone actually called the ambulance. Good times, good times..." -Scott Smith

"Germans are so efficient they start October in the last week of September." -Scott Smith

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Mosy Bites

I found a great new site full of great stories and news; Mosy Bites. There are all kinds of of inspirational and offbeat anecdotes mixed with a little political commentary here and there. Mosy Bites is a great place to start off or finish up your day, or just pop in when you need a smile. I'll see you there.

"Quotable" Qulassic

""The clap doesn't sound anything like you think it should. If you are hearing any strange noises from you crotch; Play it safe, go see a doctor." - Scott Smith "

"The good thing about birthdays is that; You can show up to work as drunk as you want and, the worse thing your boss can do is fire you." -Scott Smith

"Never forget: September 11 is only 2 days before my birthday." -Scott Smith

"Not for all the clowns in Clowntown." -Scott Smith

"It takes a lot of bibles to start a bonfire." -Scott Smith

"A quick kick to the dick can change any man's behavior." -Scott Smith

"Steve Jobs is still CEO of my heart." -Scott Smith

"Remember kids: The street drugs are the neat drugs. It's the pills that kill." -Scott Smith

"I went to a pet store, they were out of peeves." -Scott Smith

"*Don't eat the red ones. Unless it's OK to eat the red ones. In that case, knock yourself out. Unless you ate the red ones, those might be what knocks you out." -Scott Smith

"I'm not made of peanut butter!" -Scott Smith

"Friday, is like the weekend's Monday." -Scott Smith

"The best way to get your nose broke is to shove it in somebody else's business." -Scott Smith

"Quotable" Qulassic

""I tried to tell you but NO. You just had to go and stick your dick in that bear trap. Well, enjoy the clap, jackass." - Scott Smith"

"Raise 'em however you want; this box of grapes is still stale as fuck." -Scott Smith